I went with my best friend to her doctor's office so she could pick up the free test strips that he was giving away. If doing this on my one day off from work hasn't shown her how I really feel about her than I don't know what will. It's getting harder to hide my feelings. Sometimes we'll be in the middle of a really deep conversation where we're revealing everything and I'll just want to blurt it out! It's been about three years now that we've known each other. Since I can't just tell her, for some reason, I'm trying to do everything I can to show her while hoping she gets the hint. Valentine's Day is coming up next month. Normally I just act nonchalantly about it. Even though I've wanted to, I never sent her a card or anything. It's just that we've spent this time developing this really beautiful friendship and I don't want to do anything that's going to freak her out. I know almost every intimate detail about her. I don't want her to feel like she's been talking to a stranger the entire time. We always told each other in the beginning that we would be completely honest with each other about everything. So far, I have been – just not about this. My feelings for her are so intense and so deep and I feel like she's so perfect for me that if I find out she doesn't feel the same I don't know if I could get over it. I'm not ready to let go of this beautiful fantasy yet.